Emotional Intelligence and Ayurvedic Wisdom
Learning to live with our emotions
When I was seven years old, after an argument with one of my brothers, my parents supported him in the final decision, and I felt alone in my sadness. I sat on the staircase, crying, until my mother came to comfort me. I told her, “I can’t wait to be an adult.”
Surprised, she asked me why. I explained that grown-ups don’t cry and aren’t sad. She gently replied that adults have emotions too — sadness, frustration, anger — they simply learn to hide them.
What I didn’t understand at that age was how often emotions are suppressed or ignored, leaving the body and the subconscious affected. Even more troubling, there was no emotional education to help us understand what we were feeling or how to live with it.
Today, although we still have a long way to go, parts of modern psychology are beginning to meet the wisdom of our ancestors. Carl Jung laid important foundations by bringing attention to emotions, self-awareness, and our inner psychological world. More recently, Daniel Goleman popularized these ideas through the concept of Emotional Intelligence in Emotional Intelligence (1995), emphasizing emotional education as a life skill.
Long before modern psychology, Ayurvedic psychology recognized emotions as central to well-being. Unprocessed emotional energy affects the mind, disrupts natural balance, and can eventually show up as imbalances in body, behavior, and consciousness.
Both modern science and ancient wisdom point toward a similar understanding: emotions shape our lives, and emotional balance is essential to well-being. The more familiar we become with our emotions, the more we pave the way toward inner stability and happiness.
A psychological and neuroscience-based approach to emotions
Daniel Goleman defines Emotional Intelligence as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions in ourselves and others, presenting it as a foundational skill for a meaningful and healthy life.
The key points of his work are:
Success in life, work, and relationships does not rely solely on IQ but rather very strongly on emotional skills.
Emotions drive behavior and decision-making, often before rational thought enters the picture.
As we become more emotionally educated, we learn to recognize what we feel, regulate our emotional responses, and use emotions consciously. We develop the ability to motivate ourselves and others, cultivate empathy, and strengthen social skills to build healthy relationships.
Goleman based his work on neuroscience research showing that the brain has an emotional center linked to survival and threat response—the amygdala. Under stress, emotional reactions can temporarily override rational thinking, a process he refers to as emotional hijacking. With awareness and proper training, however, we can learn to regulate our responses to stress and regain clarity and balance.
Holistic view on Emotions
In Ayurvedic psychology, two key components shape our emotional world: the intellect and the ego.
The intellect (buddhi) is our capacity to see clearly, to discern, and to choose wisely. It allows us to respond to life with perspective rather than impulse. The ego (ahamkara), on the other hand, is the part of us that identifies with our experiences and turns them into a personal story — this is happening to me, this shouldn’t be happening, I am hurt, I am threatened.
When the ego dominates perception, emotions can arise as disturbances of our natural equilibrium. Ayurveda teaches that emotions are not isolated mental events. Because body, mind, and spirit are inseparable, emotional reactions immediately affect the body—altering breath, digestion, energy flow, and overall vitality. In this way, emotions are not just felt in the mind; they are lived and expressed through the entire being.
Emotional states are influenced by the three gunas (the three qualities of the mind). When the mind is sattvic, we are balanced and able to meet challenges by responding rather than reacting. When the mind is rajasic, we become agitated, restless, and reactive. When the mind is tamasic, emotions tend toward heaviness, confusion, withdrawal, or emotional stagnation.
Ayurveda does not see emotions as negative energy to be fought or avoided, but as messages of imbalance we can learn from. Through diet, breath, movement, meditation, and conscious lifestyle choices, we restore balance and well-being.
Emotional Regulation as a Path to Happiness
When emotions arise, the question is not whether we should feel them, but how we meet them. Both Emotional Intelligence and Ayurvedic psychology agree on one essential point: regulation does not mean suppression. It means developing the ability to stay present without being overwhelmed or carried away.
From the perspective of Emotional Intelligence, emotional regulation begins with awareness. When we recognize an emotional response as it appears, we gain choice. Instead of reacting automatically, we can pause, reflect, and respond more consciously. This skill supports clarity, resilience, and healthier relationships. Emotional regulation creates inner stability, especially in moments of stress or challenge.
Ayurveda deepens this understanding by reminding us that emotional regulation is not only a mental process. It involves the entire system. Our breath, digestion, energy levels, and daily rhythms all influence how we process emotions. When the body is supported, the mind becomes more stable. Simple practices — slowing the breath, favoring warm and nourishing foods, embracing regular routines, and creating moments of stillness — help the nervous system settle. From this grounded state, emotions can move through us without leaving residue behind.
Happiness, from this combined perspective, is not the absence of challenging emotions. It is the ability to remain connected to ourselves through them. Emotional balance allows us to feel fully without losing our center. Over time, this strengthens trust in our inner intelligence and nurtures a deeper sense of peace.
Modern psychology and ancient wisdom meet on common ground when it comes to emotions. Emotional Intelligence offers a clear, psychological, and neuroscience-based framework for understanding how emotions function and influence our lives. Ayurveda provides a holistic lens, showing how emotions affect the body, mind, and spirit as one interconnected whole.
Together, they remind us that emotions are neither weaknesses nor problems to eliminate. They are signals guiding us toward balance, clarity, and growth. When we learn to listen to them, regulate them with awareness, and support the body that carries them, emotional balance becomes a lived experience rather than a concept.